Old Birthday Jokes

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Posted by admin | Posted in Birthday Jokes | Posted on 01-02-2010

Of all my husband’s relatives, I like me best.

 

Once over the hill, you pick up speed.

 

I used to get lost in the shuffle; now I just shuffle along with the lost.

 

The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.

 

You’re so old you confuse having a clear conscience with having a bad memory.

 

You’re getting old when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

 

Did you hear about the time Eddy’s sister tried to make a birthday cake? The candles melted in the oven.

 

What is the left side of a birthday cake?

The side that’s not eaten.

 

"Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake."

Next time, take off the candles."

 

Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.

 

I’m on a 30-day diet. So far I’ve lost 15 days.

 

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

 

Travelling to see historical sites isn’t as much fun when many of the sites are younger than you are.

 

You start video taping daytime game shows.

 

Your joints are more accurate than the National Weather Service.

 

You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

 

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.

 

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

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